Miracles do happen...

I had an absolute disaster of a week this week. No tracking and eating all round me, whatever I wanted it went in my mouth. I had planned to be good and save my weeklies for a dinner party on Saturday night, however, a take away on Friday and grazing sweeties through out the week at work meant that didn't work out. The dinner party itself was high in pps, Lasagna, Garlic bread and caesar salad, i know your thinking it could have been worse...it was...Malibu & coconut cupcakes with cream cheese frosting and a load of sweets while we played cards. So as you can imagine I was praying for a STS but expecting a gain of about 2 lbs after all that. I wasn't even nervous stepping onto the scales tonight, I had resigned myself to a gain and i was ready to move on and start a new week fresh, I even thought a gain would give me a kick to start behaving again, so you could say that I almost welcomed the gain.

The kick never came because the gain didn't show. I didn't even get a STS I actually managed to weigh in - 0.5lbs! A miracle if one ever happened! I am gob smacked and i almost cant believe it. Surely the scales are wrong? I definitely did not deserve to be down and I really deserved to be up! So whats the problem you ask? Well there isn't one really because the whole point of this journey is to lose weight, which i have. I am concerned now though that I wont be able to stop this bad behavior because I will now think that I can get away with not tracking and eating way more junk than I should. I MUST cop on and gain control, there are only so many miracle weigh ins one can get and surely I have used mine all up now?

This is how I felt when i say the minus on the scales.

I got to thinking about my college days, thats when all the weight piled on. I am now roughly the same size i was starting college, if not a couple of lbs lighter. How much food did I eat to gain 2 stone?
the answer is a LOT!!! An average day in my college life consisted of, Sausage rolls from the deli for breakfast, tea and biscuits for mid morning break probably followed by a chocolate bar of some kind. A roll and potato wedges from the deli for lunch and one or two chocolate bars and some crisps. Another chocolate bar a couple of hours later and a take away for dinner and more chocolate or sweets to eat on the couch for the rest of the evening. Add in two or three nights of drinking, each night a full bottle of wine and at least 4 vodkas. Now i am actually thinking to myself, you ONLY put on 2 stone! It should have been way more. So maybe I am just lucky that way, I can eat more and get away with not having a gain. I dunno if that makes any sense even?

Going back over my college lifestyle has given me a bit of a kick, I had forgotten what I used to be like, how much I ate and if I am not careful I will slowly get back to that, starting with not getting in control at work, i cannot keep grazing on sweets all day at work, even if i can get away with eating a little over my points, in the long term it wont work. I had an idea today that i could make a money jar and every time I come home from work and I haven't eaten sweets I put 1 euro in the jar, when its full, I treat myself to something and start again. I can of course eat sweets, but it must be worked into my dailies or my weeklies and i should enjoy them and not pop them in my mouth at work without even thinking.

I more than likely will have a gain next week, it will be that time of month and i usually have a gain at that time, But thats ok, I am now 3lbs away from goal and i look forward to getting there, before halloween would be nice :)